10 More disturbing extremist rantings and how to respond

Following my previous blog on 10 Typical Islamist rantings and how to respond, I’d like to present a very much needed sequel!

We must drown out extremist, outdated, misogynistic narratives. So, here are sadly more disappointing examples of intolerance and extremism that are normalised within many Muslim/scholarly circles. Here’s also how to respond in order to promote a real, healthier message!

1. Kill or disown apostates


Examples of popular scholars/Islamic websites preaching such narrative can be found here (Zakir Naik) and here (Islam Q+A).

Here’s how to respond:

  • Allah Almighty gave us free will and the chance of redemption.
  • Faith is a personal journey – an individual journey between God and our own soul.

More information can be found here.

2. Women must do all the housework and serve their husbands

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Examples from preachers can be found here (Zakir Naik). Very frustrating and not very egalitarian!

Here’s how to respond:

  • We have choices. A woman’s choice to go to work should not be at the detriment of having two (full-time sole) jobs – one at home and one at work.
  • In many cases, without her own income (a second family income), the family will struggle financially. In fact, financially dependent women remain incredibly vulnerable – imagine their spouse falls ill, dies or turns abusive? Women need a back-up / some sort of financial independence.
  • The Prophet (pbuh) shared the chores at home, so why are such misogynistic attitudes being peddled in the name of Islam?

More information can be found here.

3. Jews are “the enemies of Islam”

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Anti-Semitism is being pedalled by “Islamic scholars” and it’s shocking. In this video, Dr Zakir Naik is quoted as saying:

“America is controlled by the Jews”
“We have to be careful of the Jews”
“Jews are the biggest enemy of Muslims”

Dr Naik’s use of language (“The Jews”) in itself is shocking. Again, back in my previous post on three popular Islamic scholars who promote extremism, Shayk al-Munajjid of the website Islam Q&A has publicly stated that Jews are: “the people of lies, fabrications, treachery, and conspiracies… They are the filthiest of nations…” (Featured on Al-Majd TV, Saudi Arabia – 15/05/2016).

Let’s get this clear please. Here’s how to respond:

  • Judaism and Islam come from the same Abrahamic family. We have A LOT in common and the Jewish community deserve respect.
  • Both communities are increasingly becoming victims of religiously-motivated hate crime and are “in the same boat”.
  • Whatever your beliefs – religious, political etc. – we are all human and deserve honesty and respect.
  • The Jewish community does a lot of interfaith work to promote friendship and peace amongst Jews and Muslims.
  • Lies, harmful stereotypes and polarising of communities is not acceptable.
  • The Israeli-Palestinian issue is vast and does not simply relate to two religious communities and “us vs. them”.
  • Remember, a Muslim man is permitted to marry a Jewish sister!

A great example of Jewish-Muslim sisterhood can be found here:

Check them out and get involved!

4. Secularism is anti-Islamic and wayward

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Ah here we go. Here’s a typical anti-secular narrative:

Secularism is a new philosophy and a corrupt movement which aims to separate religion from the state, and focuses on worldly matters, and worldly desires and pleasures; it makes this world the only goal in life, and forgets and ignores the Hereafter. It pays no attention to deeds pertaining to the Hereafter. The words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) may be applied to the secularist:

‘Wretched is the slave of the dinar and the slave of the dirham and the slave of the khameesah (a kind of luxurious garment made of wool with patterns). If he is given he is pleased and if he is not given he becomes discontent. May he be wretched and doomed, and if he is pricked with a thorn may it not be pulled out (i.e., may he have no help to remove it).’ Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2887).”

(Islam Q+A)

There seems to be a conflation between secularism and materialism and atheism.

Here’s how to respond:

  • Secularism is not “anti-faith” – it’s actually designed to promote religious freedom of freedom of belief (if also non-religious).
  • Without some degree of separation of politics and religious we ultimately on the far end of the scale end up with a religious theocracy (e.g. as in Iran, Saudi Arabia, ISIS territory) which violates the right to freedom and in many cases turns people away from faith!
  • For example, in the UK we are not officially secular (we are Anglican as a State) but we very much operate in line with secular principles in relation to religious minorities.
  • On the other end of the scale, examples of extreme secularism which remove rights of minorities and religious observants can be found in Turkey and France who follow(ed) a hardline model of laïcité. This model of secularism is more concerned with the removal of religion from the public sphere and does/did not allow certain religious practices in public places (e.g. hijab in school, teaching etc.). This however is not the standard universalised practice/understanding of secularism and is an abuse of personal religious freedoms.
  • Secularism therefore has varying forms, degrees, practices and outlooks.
  • Not everyone in every country is Muslim/of one single religion – even in apparently “Muslim countries” – they may be Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, agnostic, atheist etc. Minority rights are essential and must be respected.
  • Worship is for God alone and not for governments.

More information can be found here.

5. Doubting and questioning makes you a kafir

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This is sadly so common (see here) and very, very harmful. This does not empower people and is incredibly damaging to a person’s self-esteem and spiritual growth and wellbeing.

Here’s how to respond:

  • How can you accept something without discovery and reflection?
  • You cannot accept what you do not know or understand.
  • We mature, evolve, change our views on things over time and this is a good thing! It means we are sincerely seeking and seeing new answers, new interpretations and new realities!

More information can be found here.

6. The Qur’an is enough – we don’t need learning, research and discovery

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Similar to point number five, here’s how to respond:

  • The Qur’an teaches us to learn to think but not to stop there!
  • A broad range of knowledge will actually help us better understand the Qur’an and references to the natural world and other faith traditions.
  • The more we advance as a society in terms of philosophy, ethics, politics, medicine etc., the more/better we can understand Allah’s creation, save lives through the advancement of medicine etc., live together peacefully in a multicultural, multifaith state, respect each other’s rights etc.

7. Science is “anti-God”

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Again, similar to the previous two points, we must read and discover the world around us.

Here’s how to respond:

  • The universe belongs to Allah and is “run” according to His will!
  • During “The Golden Era of Islam”, Muslims excelled in the fields of science and mathematics.

Find out more information here:

8. You should not have close non-Muslim friends

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A person who is kind, tolerant and open poses no threat (despite what may be said here).

If you come across this, here’s how to respond:

  • Muslim men marry Christian women and many Muslims have family members of various faiths – so it doesn’t really make sense then does it?
  • As long as a person is not violent and/or stopping you from practising your religion, there is no reason you cannot be friends with them!
  • Let’s be honest, you’d not want to be friends with an Islamophobe and neither would they!
  • In any case, we are encouraged to avoid anger and deal with people kindly (sorry haters!)

More info can be found here:

9. Being gay makes you non-Muslim

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To be a Muslim, you must believe in and recite the shahada (declaration of belief):

Muslim Profession of Faith

The Shahada is the Muslim profession of faith and the first of the ‘Five Pillars’ of Islam. The word shahada in Arabic means ‘testimony.’ The shahada is to testify to two things:

(a) Nothing deserves worship except God (Allah).

(b) Muhammad is the Messenger of God (Allah).

A Muslim is simply one who bears witness and testifies that “nothing deserves worship except God and Muhammad is the messenger of God.” One becomes a Muslim by making this simple declaration.


In doing so, they de-facto accept Islamic teachings. We therefore have to bear two things in mind:

  • Interpretations of what is halal and haram differ.
  • Even if you believe something is a sin, sinning doesn’t mean you’re/a person is not a believer.

10. Non-Muslims are “out to get us”

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Firstly, I take extreme issue with the term “kafir” just being flung around (that’s however, another (long) story!).

What I have sensed amongst some young Muslims is a sense of fear, paranoia and concern relating to prior colonialism, surveillance and anti-extremism measures. I’d like to point out that these are not extremists. These are regular people going to work, living their lives. In fact, I reckon it’s quite common.

These “us vs. them” narratives are however exploited by extremists and can ultimately lead to people becoming radicalised if they feel isolated and that they are “under threat” in some sort of religious ideological “battle”.

Here’s how to respond:

  • Colonialism – it’s a terrible thing but that’s the past. My generation, my parent’s generation etc. are/were not responsible.
  • The UK population are also not responsible for Iraq, Afghanistan etc. Politics and religion here are two different things.
  • Muslims are thriving – here in the UK anyway! Take entrepreneur James Cann, Mayor of London Sadiq Khan, Bake Off winner Nadiya Hussain etc.
  • Yes, there is Islamophobia and we must fight it but let’s not tar everyone with the same brush please!
  • Let’s all work towards an inclusive integrated cohesive society. When we’re all looking out for each other, we’re a safer, stronger society. Ultimately, we all benefit.

So there you have it folks. There’s some very intolerant, outdated, un/misinformed views out there but let’s not attack people. Many people are being taught/exposed to poisonous beliefs (unknowingly!). So, treat people kindly and try and explain how you feel (with evidence plus logic!). Also speak out against hatred when things are clearly not right.

We can all make a difference. Spread some peace 🙂




10 Trends which reveal the reality behind gender inequality

You’ve no doubt heard about gender inequality but you may not be aware of the reality that women across the world face. What does “gender inequality” actually mean in real terms? Perhaps you may feel that in your part of the world it’s not an issue. Well, I beg to differ. Statistically speaking, women are more likely to be affected by a range of discrimination and abuse than their male peers due to their gender and the relationship between poverty and prevailing socio-cultural norms. Now, everything has a context and therefore social, cultural and economic factors must be taken into account but by being female – across the so-called “developed” and non-developing world, there are a range of trends that stick and which are unacceptable in the 21st century.

Here’s 10 trends which highlight and exemplify the shocking reality of gender inequality today.

1. Women are the hardest hit by poverty

Women are overall disproportionately affected by poverty. According to the International Labor Organization (ILO), out of the 1.3 billion people worldwide living in extreme poverty, women account for a disproportionately large amount of this figure. But what about in the “developed world”? What about mainstream society? Well, the UN’s research “The World’s Women” in 2015 concluded that in Europe women and girls were greater affected by poverty than men (53%).

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2. More girls leave school early and become illiterate than their male peers

Without an education, you’re more likely to remain trapped in the cycle of poverty and without a doubt, women and girls are the worst affected. Due to a combination of social, cultural and economic factors such as poverty and child marriage, many girls leave school much earlier than is required leaving them unable to gain a solid education and build their future.

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3. Females are more likely to experience sexual violence

We need to break the myth that sexual violence only affects women and girls. It DOES affect men but to a far lesser degree. Many women (as well as men) will also not report or speak out about sexual violence for fear of retribution of social stigma, but the figures we do have are shocking.

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4. Women are excluded from habitually male-led decision making

We’ve all heard of the glass ceiling and it’s real. The lack of females in politics and high management positions is shocking as this ultimately means that women are excluded from decision making, meaning that half of the population remain under-represented in politics, finance etc. – you name it!

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5. Women earn less than their male colleagues for the same job

Not only are women more likely than men to work in undervalued, low-paid or vulnerable jobs but women are also on average paid less than men (ILO, 2012; UN Women, 2017). According to the World Bank, in most countries across the globe, women on average earn only 60-75% of what men do. This is a staggering phenomena in the “Western world” which many find hard to believe.

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6. Being female means you’re more likely to be sold into slavery

Human trafficking is a serious problem across the globe. Most victims of human trafficking are female and the numbers of girls being trafficked is increasing. Human trafficking of women and girls often involves sexual exploitation and is unimaginably detrimental to the psychological, emotional, physical, sexual, social, cultural and economical wellbeing of those affected.

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7. Women are more likely to die from natural hazards

When natural disaster strikes, women are once again at greater risk of harm. Women living in poverty (as usual!) are more likely to be affected than their male counterparts and remain incredibly vulnerable.

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8. Girls are more likely to be affected by HIV and AIDS than their male peers

51% of adults living with HIV are female (UNAIDS, 2015). What’s more, if we break down the figures by age, we find that young girls and women (aged 15 to 24 years old) are particularly vulnerable to infection (UNAIDS 2015; UN Women 2017). New infections amongst young women are higher than that of their male peers and with 45% of teenage girls in certain cases declaring that their first sexual experience was non-consensual, this may not come as a surprise for many people out there (UNAIDS, 2014).


9. Women spend more time on unpaid housework and less on leisure than men

We may think this is a stereotype but it’s true. Across the world, in pretty much every country, each day men spend more time on leisure activities while women spend more time doing unpaid housework (OECD, 2017). Women take on the major burden of domestic and care work – even when they have a job of their own.

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10. Being born female means you’re more likely to be married as a child

Child marriage predominantly affects girls. Whilst boys can be affected, the numbers show that this is a far less common occurrence. Child marriage results in high numbers of young girls missing out on an education, financial independence and being subject to sexual, emotional and physical abuse. For girls of such a young age, childbirth can even mean death, as their young bodies cannot bear the physical burden.

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So there we are folks. The figures speak for themselves. Please, please – next time you hear someone harping on about “feminism” this and that as though it’s a man-hating phenomena, remind them of these facts. We must keep raising awareness and challenging socio-cultural norms which discriminate against women and perpetuate the marginalisation, exclusion and abuse of so many women – both closer to home and further afield.

Sources, credits and further information

A full list of sources can be downloaded here (PDF)


Misogyny in North Africa: My experiences as a British Muslimah

In a previous post I talked about sexism in the British workplace and in keeping with the theme of sexism, I’d like to talk about my experiences as a British Muslimah in relation to North African culture. I’m married to a North African man and I’ve travelled to, worked and lived in a variety of North African countries both pre- and post-conversion and before and after getting married. In this post, I’d like to look at the issues I’ve really noticed since converting to Islam and travelling to the region including first, second and third hand experiences of blatant discrimination, sexism, hypocrisy and misogyny that women in the area face. Now, I’m not saying these things happen across the board and I’ve certainly not included examples from very traditional circles but I’d like to talk about some experiences which I’ve found difficult, confusing, frustrating, upsetting and in some cases have made me feel utterly trapped and powerless – all of which are against (moderate) Islamic teachings. For more on the issue of sexism and Islam, see my previous post on gender jihad which has already touched on what is and isn’t Islamic when it comes to women and the unfortunate way some are treated.

Primarily, the overriding problem and any example of misogyny I can think of (mostly) seems to be related to the following overarching concept:

“A woman’s place is in the home”

First of all, not all women in the region are at home every second of the day. However this concept really underpins the problems I’ve encountered. It affects every aspect of women’s lives. There are many many women with jobs – most of the doctors I’ve met are in fact women and many women do hold roles outside the home. What’s more, women and girls can also enjoy being at home relaxing in their free time but the reality is that I’ve faced gossiping, backbiting and criticism for “leaving the house too much” (women sadly do this too folks!). Whilst on holiday, being busy organising and getting married and taking my father out so we could enjoy a holiday, I’ve been subjected to wagging tongues trying to control  my life. The manipulation of Islam to the extent that women are told they need to stay at home in safe places to extreme lengths (for obscene periods of time) is wrong and unhealthy yet it is used to perpetuate a deeply ingrained misogyny.

Inside the home: No need for a man’s input

On a practical level, this means that the home is the woman’s domain and most men don’t lift even a finger at home. The kitchen is out of bounds to male guests who may want to cook as the kitchen is for females – of all ages – and females only. No men allowed! Men generally will not learn to cook but will boil an egg, fry chips or make an omelette if hungry and their wife/sister/mum is not around. In restaurants however, all the waiters and chefs are male. It is generally seen as shameful for women to serve men in public but to serve men in the home is viewed as normal. If a man does cook, this will be kept quiet to save face.

If a husband works full time and his wife is at home with the kids, you’d expect that she would take care of domestic matters but that shouldn’t exclude men from helping out and taking responsibility. For women who work full-time – let’s not forget that we all need a decent standard of living and many many many girls go to university and want a job – she can generally not expect the housework to be divided. I’ve been told that women are apparently “happy” to have a full-time job and do all of the housework (and essentially have two jobs). Of course, if you live with in-laws/parents, there is help but domestic duties – cooking, cleaning etc. – are carried out by women/females only. ONE thing however: men will often do the shopping. Some markets are also off limits to women due to apparently “dodgy behaviour” in such areas fully saturated with men, which are deemed inappropriate for women. To be fair, by the sounds of it I’d not want to go but there’s something ironic there about only men being able to buy food that they’re never going to cook themselves…


In the home, cooking is seen as a woman’s job – even if she works full time (Photo: Elizabeth Arif-Fear – CC)

Outside the home: Ignoring women’s needs 

What does all of this mean outside of the home? As I’ve already explained, it means being judged based on your movements and being subject to gossip for being “outside the house too much”, even if you’re simply shopping, meeting friends, eating out etc. This concept of a women’s place being the home really does have much wider ramifications. It essentially dictates to society that the public sphere is male – in other words: “leave it to the males” as “things are best run by men”. This translates to needing men’s permission to do anything and women’s issues requiring male validation. Here comes the unfortunate dichotomy of public (male) and private (female) spheres. We’ve heard it all before but it’s true!

On a social level, I found this meant I was often excluded within my own personal circles – even when I was with men. Imagine you’re in a busy tourist agency and as the only female you’re ignored in a three person conversation. Out of respect due to culture/religion? Well…the man in question booking your trip is told you speak French in an attempt to include you in the conversation. You have to butt in and take charge in order to be included in your own activities, obviously feeling very very frustrated. Or, in another scenario: a male stops talking to his wife without a word of warning to hold a conversation with an incoming male. She’s the second class invisible third party…

This also means that facilities prioritise men and that there is a severe lack of public facilities for women. For example, the local coffee shop is the men’s “palace”. Yes, everyone needs a place to chill out with their friends or to get some time on your own but why are there no coffee places for girls? The Gulf for example has plenty of women-only facilities. The response is “girls belong at home” and “girls want to stay at home”. One question comes to mind though: all the time…? In terms of dividing public money, I’ve seen male sports facilities but nothing for girls. If money is an issue, why not scale down the buildings? It would appear that women don’t need and/or deserve a gym and that men come first. This is no trivial matter folks. If the public sphere is dominated with men, then half the population are both under- and misrepresented. If there’s a problem, the women tend to suffer and I have indeed found that it seems to put the women at a disadvantage. Imagine this: “illegal sexual activity” is going on in public toilets. What action is taken? The women’s toilets are closed. So, we have functioning male toilets but nothing for the ladies. Whilst the men have toilet facilities, ladies are left with nothing. Not exactly ideal during that time of the month…


Local cafés: a men’s world… (Photo: Xuoan Duquesne – CC)

This leads to another point. The lack of female representation also means that the women are not only under-represented in terms of opinions and facilities but that women’s specific needs are not met. Who understands women better than women themselves? For example, going back to the topic of toilets – do not expect there to be a sanitary bin in a public toilet. If you need to dispose of used personal sanitary items you need to take a mini plastic bag and your own pads (no vending machines). This may sound like a small issue to some guys out there but it really shows a complete lack of thought and understanding of women and women’s needs. As a foreigner, when you’re faced with all the frustrating other “norms” and you’re missing simple basic sanitation facilities, it just gets too much!

Whilst there is plenty of room for women in the public sphere to shop and buy shoes, scarves, handbags etc. (no problem with that – I love shopping!), what about recognising their needs and giving them real outlets to have a voice? Even when buying underwear, you should also never expect to a female sales assistant. Lingerie is often sold amongst other generic items of clothing in clothing and accessory shops. I don’t know about you but I’d not want to buy intimate items from male sales personnel with no women around for sizing advice. Women need the care and assistance of other ladies when buying their undergarments. In short, women need to be more visible and taken into greater consideration.


Don’t expect to find sanitary towel bins in the ladies’ toilets… (Photo: Wrote – CC)

Public and private spheres: Male attitudes dominate

On a more serious note, the above really points to a deeply ingrained patriarchy that goes beyond an inability to go out for a coffee or find a female shop assistant when you want one (they do exist though btw!). No, what it means is that women have to accept the social standards set by men – which are hypocritical and clearly point to a double standard in favour of men. For example, divorced women are “a thing”. The stigma is decreasing from what I’ve heard and whilst divorce should never be taken lightly, neither should a woman be defined/pointed out as “divorced” in a conversation… A woman is actually “left on the shelf” when she’s “past her younger years” but for men this is not a problem. When a slightly older lady does marry, she is seen as a very lucky exception!

Such sexist double standards also translate to the way in which men feel they have the right to regulate women’s clothing, as well as overall general behaviour. Extreme interpretations of Islam have led me to be told I should not even talk on a mini-bus. Yes, women should remain modest but they do not need to (and must not) be silenced. Women in earlier Islamic years were scholars, teachers and architects – and still are! The men often shout and bellow down the phone but a woman cannot sit and talk on a bus. It also makes me so sad and angry to have to say this but some women and girls are forced to cover their hair and bodies. This is totally un-Islamic but happens. Parents and spouses have been known to force their daughters/wives to wear a headscarf (khimar/hijab) and other longer outer garments (jilbab). This is an insult to God, our right to free will and the women who freely choose to cover themselves in both Muslim and non-Muslim countries, risking Islamophobic hate crime and discrimination in the workplace, street and even within their families. Yes, sadly it works both ways. Some girls in the Muslim community also face difficulty in wearing a scarf or face veil. Why can’t women just be left to make their own choices? What is in the heart is personal.

If we look at men’s behaviour though, there are clear double standards and hypocrisies. Smoking is haram (forbidden in Islam) but many many men smoke. I’m not here to judge though. My point is this: fathers, husbands and brothers would have a fit if their daughters, sisters and wives started smoking yet they carry on and puff away…


The home: “a women’s place” (Photo: Groundhopping Murseburg – CC)

Social brainwashing: Male and female perpetrators

So, I’ve given you a few of my experiences and insights. When I’ve expressed some of my frustration and disbelief at these issues, my concerns have been acknowledged. Women themselves have agreed that this is down to culture, not religion. However, women – as well as men – also perpetuate these habits and enjoin in gossiping about women who “go against the grain” in perfectly moral, decent ways. The fact that some women acknowledge that restrictive norms are cultural (not Islamic) but also enjoin in or do not stand up to this this is what makes the reality of such misogyny really truly tragic. Many women have been brainwashed to follow these sexist norms which deem women and girls who are outside of the home more than deemed acceptable etc. as “behaving inappropriately” and the top end could seem them branded as “wh****”. By gossiping and backbiting away about the social activities of other women and girls, such females are “accepting” and keeping alive such outdated misogynistic values which can mean that any girl who does fight back or ignore these rules, risks her reputation and that of their family and ultimately her (and even her family’s) ability to marry and live a happy socially integrated life.

If you don’t believe in the poisonous power of social brainwashing in leading women to accept sexism and misogyny watch this video, showing one Algerian woman’s attitude to domestic violence. As you can see, women – as well as men – in believing in and accepting, rather than standing up and speaking out against these issues, are perpetuating sexist outdated and dangerous gender norms, stereotypes and even violence. From gossiping about women, to the very top end of the scale where some are even “happily accepting” domestic violence, it’s the same problem. On the one hand the report was made by an Algerian TV channel shows that awareness has been raised from the inside but if you watch the video, you’ll see that there is some severe social brainwashing and normalising of immoral sexist practices. Looking at the statistics in the video, domestic violence is a huge issue in itself, accepted by a large section of women.

These women are victims but will live on to victimise future generations of women and girls if things don’t change. Such men and women will be teaching their sons and daughters to carry and accept these practices. Misogyny in North Africa exists on micro and macro levels but remember this: no matter how small the incidents or examples are, do not underestimate the negative impact they can have on the lives of women and girls – it all comes from the same source…

Photo credits:

Babak Fakhamzadeh (feature image) (CC)


Gender Jihad – misogyny vs. Islam

middle-east-travel-4-1513825What is “Gender jihad“? It’s not about ISIS and their sexual deviancy. “Gender jihad” is a term I’ve taken from Islamic feminist Amina Wadud’s book entitled: Inside the Gender Jihad: Women’s Reform in Islam (2006, OneWorld Publications). There is a lot of debate surrounding Amina Wadud and her “approach” to Islam. I do not advocate all of her beliefs/practices (that is another issue in itself which is not the focus of this article) but none the less I believe she does raise some valid points and quite rightly coined the term gender jihad.

Jihad means “struggle”. One’s personal jihad – our own moral battles – could be to stop smoking, to suppress one’s anger, to look after our health better – in essence: to do anything that brings us closer to God and which fits His commandments. Collective jihad is to fight suppression. So, therefore what exactly is “gender jihad”? Quite simply, it´s the struggle and movement to advance women´s rights within Muslim communities in regards to the behaviours and the realities which Muslim women face and to look at current Islamic interpretations of scripture and resulting practices to re-interpret these/re-educate Muslims to move from a current socio-cultural patriarchal perspective to one that is more egalitarian and in line with true Islam.

Islam vs. misogyny

As a Muslim convert who has been brought up in a stereotypically “non-Muslim” culture but has Muslim friends of a variety of nationalities, has also married into a North-African Muslim family and also lived, worked and travelled in various Muslim and non-Muslim countries – I’ve come to various conclusions. Whilst people often warn you when you first convert about the difference between Islam and Muslims, and whilst no-one is perfect except Allah Himself, at times you can become rather frustrated and disappointed by other people´s cultures and behaviour encroaching on your religion and your religious rights/freedoms – especially as a woman. “The non-Muslim West” is often seen as the “land of the non-believers” as opposed to Muslim countries where Muslim culture is the norm. In fact, this is often the opposite; marred with contradictions, stereotypes, frustrations, cultural clashes and shocks when seeing the reality in certain Muslim countries or Muslim communities at home or abroad. Before I even converted to Islam, one sister told me that the UK was a better example of the spirit and rights of Islam (but that is another story and no – I’m not a nationalist at all). The reality is that most converts are women from similar backgrounds as myself – “Western”, under the age of 30 and from a stereotypically “non-Muslim” culture (although there is a wide diversity among converts). Such young women are drawn to Islam not only for its spiritual monotheism but also for the rights it ordains on women,  discovering that feminism and Islam are at one with each other.

Feminist discourse is often defined in “Western” secular terms. Muslim women who classify themselves as feminists have often been seen to have “liberated” themselves from not only their society but from Islam and its symbolism – how many wear headscarves (yet that is another debate as I cannot completely guess their reasoning)? How many have come from theocratic regimes and appear to have turned their back on Islam? Feminist discourse has however shifted from simply “Western feminism” and secular “Muslim” feminists to the rise of Islamic feminists who do not see the issue of women’s rights and Islam to be in direct contrast to one another – in fact, quite the opposite. It’s about liberating women within Islamto be respected and receive all of their rights as Allah ordained upon them according to the Qur’an and Sunnah (teachings of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh)). The often notable difference between what Islam is and what Muslims do can be due to deviancya lack of Islamic education, cultural practices/behaviour and/or extremism and intolerance entwined with each other. Mindsets and national cultures affect people´s views, as does a lack of understanding of Islam itself which becomes equated with their socio-cultural reality and therefore their interpretation and practice of Islam and  how they treat others – including women. Islam is a faith – not a culture – which crosses linguistic, ethnic, cultural and national boundaries. Muslims belong to a vast rich multicultural family. In Islam, Muslims are one ummah (community) made of a rich mix of believers of diverse cultures and  nationalities. Cultural diversity and traditions are what make the world rich, vibrant and so excitingly varied and within Islam itself, racism is forbidden. Yet a Muslim is supposed to believe in and prioritise God and Islam first and foremost. 

Bearing this in mind and as a follow-up to a previous post I wrote on  women’s equality in Islam looking at textual sources, in this post I’d like to look at the juxtaposition between Islam, culture and misogyny. In other words: how Islam often becomes misrepresented not just by certain minorities but also on a wider scale within many cultures/Muslim countries. Firstly, I am not “anti-culture”. Respect for and interest in other cultures and religions is what has led me to where I am today. I am not attempting to stereotype, judge or generalise against Muslims, nor cultures – but there are issues. In fact, culture, intolerance and extremism does not encroach just on women´s rights in Muslim communities/societies – but that is a wider issue. This is about spreading the real message of Islam – re-establishing Islam principles and behaviour, shunning Islam of cultural baggage, misogyny and issues which are not only falsely associated with Islam by non-Muslims but also by Muslims themselves. Some of the issues addressed are openly recognised and denounced as cultural/minority issues not Islamic issues themselves, whilst others are not adequately dissociated with Islam and in fact unfairly affect or “dictate” how Islam is practiced: how Muslims live, treat others and practice their faith in a way that is contrary to the morals and rights Islam ordains. Islam itself doesn’t need to change. As Muslims we believe that God is perfect and has perfected faith. No, this is about culture, misogyny and extremism – how Muslim girls and women are being failed, denied their rights, mistreated and abused – vs. the essence of Islam – its morals, its spirituality, its meaning and the rights and respect it offers women.

Not in the name of Allah
  • Double standards regarding sexual morality – zina (pre-marital and extra-marital sex) is forbidden in Islam for both men and women. As such this is usually illegal in Muslim countries. Yet there appears to be certain double standards in some societies/circles, where men expect a virgin wife but some do not remain virgins themselves and families turn a blind eye to their sons’ behaviour.
  • Honour killings/violence – this is simply individuals’ barbaric delinquency and does not represent Islam. Such activities constitute “major crimes” (The Islamic Supreme Council of Canada).
  • Forced marriage – this is haram (forbidden). A marriage is not permissible without the women’s consent. Furthermore, men and women are encouraged to think carefully about their future spouse and their compatibility. It must also be remembered that arranged marriage is not forced marriage. Marriage in Islam can be a love match or arranged but in all cases the women’s consent is required.


  • Female genital mutilation – FGM is a cultural practice that pre-dates Islam and has been denounced as un-Islamic by many scholars/groups including The Muslim Council of Britain but is still ongoing through a lack of education, cultural traditions and misconceptions about Islam. Women have sexual rights and bodily rights. Muslims have a duty to preserve their health and prevent bodily harm and both men and women have the right to sexual pleasure within marriage. FGM is contrary to Islamic principles and unacceptable. See here for more information about FGM.
  • Sexual harassment, rape and the stigmatisation of rape victims – rape and sexual harassment are both forbidden in Islam and are grossly immoral (marital rape is of course forbidden). Furthermore, victims of rape can end up becoming grossly stigmatised or accused of committing zina. Once a woman is seen as “tainted” it is very hard for her to find a husband. One Moroccan woman named Amina Filali committed suicide in March 2012 after being forced to marry her rapist. Fortunately Amnesty International later won the battle in 2014 to ban such law in Morocco which allowed male rapists to escape punishment if they married their victim. Women in Egypt (where there is an incredibly high rate of sexual harassment in the street) have also started fighting back under the Pink Revolution“. This quote pretty much sums it up: “Teaching your sons to lower their gaze is just as important as teaching your daughter to cover up”. Victim blaming in the name of misogyny is immoral and un-Islamic.
  • Ideas of male “superiority” when having children – the pressure to have a baby boy or selective abortion is immoral and un-Islamic. In the UK a group of 25+ religious bodies (Muslim, Sikh and Hindu) including The Muslim Women´s Network came together to discuss the issue and called for sex selective abortion to be banned in the UK – having “witnessed at ‘first hand’ the pressure that women come under to abort daughters”. In the time of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) people used to kill their newly born daughters – Islam specifically outlawed this. The Prophet was an affectionate father who taught great respect for one’s daughters. He said: “Lucky is the woman whose first child is a daughter”. Of his daughter Fatima he stated: “Fatima is part of me, whoever harms her, harms me.”


  • A lack of women’s religious facilities – I´ve been to mosques in both Muslim and non-Muslim countries where I´ve found frustrating saddening realities. One one occasion I was in another town and needed to pray and found the women´s prayer area to be locked because “women in this area don’t go to the mosque to pray”. I have also found myself unable to pray due to the upset caused by other men stemming from a lack of (open) facilities and an unfamiliarity with the concept of women coming mid day to the mosque to pray. It is my right to be able to pray in the mosque in peace whenever I like, as long as I pray in the correct clothing, have performed ablution and behave respectfully. The authentic hadith (Al-Buhkhari) states the words of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) as following: “Do not stop women servants of God from the mosques of God.” It is the mosque’s right to provide an adequate women’s only area to pray in with the appropriate entrance and without grief/harassment from other (male) members of the community.
  • A lack of women’s education – education gives power, wealth and independence yet there are high rates of female illiteracy and low levels of education in some Muslim countries due to social, economic and cultural factors and extremist (mis-)interpretations of Islam – in complete contrast to Islamic teachings. In some societies it is thankfully the opposite. In Algeria for example, there are a higher number of female graduates than males (see here and  additionally here for literacy rates). In Islam, we are encouraged to read, study and learn. It was in actual fact a Muslim lady named Fatima al-Fihri who founded the oldest university in the world – The University of Qarawiyyin (Morocco). Those who are being denied an education are not being done so because of (true) religious doctrine. Women are often caregivers, mothers and wives but they are no means denied the right to an education or a career if they wish and if the needs of the family are met. In the words of Malala Yousefzai: “Extremists have shown what frightens them the most: A girl with a book.”
  • Domestic violence – time and time again this issue comes up. Domestic violence (or any form of abuse) is not permissible. Looking at my previous post on the equality of women in Islam, a man who mistreats woman cannot be a “good Muslim” – in fact, the very opposite. Islam encourages love, equality, trust and gentleness towards others and ones spouse. The Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) never hit any woman in his lifetime. He said: “How can you beat your wife like a slave and then sleep with her in the night?” (Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 3242). Shurayḥ an-Nakha’i Rahimahullah also said: “May my hand be paralysed if I ever hit my wife.” (Al-Ahkam 1/462). See the fatwa on honour killings, misogyny and domestic violence: “Honour Killings, Domestic Violence and Misogyny Are Un-Islamic and Major Crimes” (Islamic Supreme Council of Canada).


  • Forced covering/uncovering – In some families/societies some women are pressured/forced to cover, whilst in other circumstances women are not free to cover or are subject to criticism or ridicule. This could includes both headscarves and face veils. The misconception that women are forced to cover in Islam is wrong. I freely choose to cover and will not cover or even uncover for anyone. The same goes for other women including those who wear face-veils. In Islam, actions are to be done out of one’s free will and as worship directed to Allah for His sake alone. Allah commands women to cover (however one interprets that) and thus to cover should be for Him and Him only. A man cannot force his wife to cover and to force her to un-cover is to stop her obeying Allah and thus in such case she is obliged to ignore such wishes. As previously highlighted, just as women are obliged to cover and be modest, men are also obliged to lower their gaze towards women and be modest.
  • Abusing the right to polygamy – polygamy is sunnah (a practice of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) and is not an obligation: “Islam neither orders nor prohibits polygamy. It only permits it when it is necessary” (Questions on Islam, see here for more information). Islam lowered limited the number of women a man could marry and has set forth marital rules and rights for both men and women. These include strict conditions which you must be able to fulfill in order to have more than one wife. A man must treat each of his wives equally and grant them of all their rights: spiritual, sexual, emotional, financial etc.- providing for each one for them. Therefore polygamy is not an option for everyone.
  • Domestic slavery/servitude – wives in Islam are not maids, cleaners and domestic servants but partners and equals. The Prophet  Mohammed (pbuh) sewed, cooked and cleaned (see fatwa). It is a husband’s duty to provide financially for his wife but that does not mean not lifting a finger in the house. Sadly, this has been forgotten by many: “Be kind and considerate to your woman. She is a tender flower, and not your household slave.” (Ali Ibn Abu Talib (R.A)) (see here for more information).
  • Limited leaving the house – Muslim women are not supposed to imprison themselves in their homes. Visiting family, outdoor activities, work, education  etc. are all permissible – simply women must ensure that the home is not neglected and that they  observe proper conduct outside the home (hijab etc.).
  • Lack of support for divorcees, widows, single mothers, unmarried women – it can often be difficult for women who are not “young fresh virgins” to find a husband and those who are unmarried can find it hard within the community. Being a single mother or losing a spouse is not easy. In the Prophet Mohammed’s era a woman did not have to be a twenty something unmarried virgin to find a husband: “A divorced woman or widow never had any issues getting married in the time of the companions. In fact, she would have a hard time choosing which proposal to accept since there were so many great men asking for her. She was never made to feel like she was a burden on her family/society, nor was she told that she’d have to marry anyone that’d be willing to propose to her.” (Shaykh Omar Suleiman).


  • Views on working women – as already highlighted, a woman has the choice to work or not. The husband (as the one who does not have children!) has to be the provider regardless of whether his wife works or not. A Muslim woman has choices. She by no means has to be some “meek” figure to find a husband: “Many Muslim men will pass over talented, educated women who are willing to put their careers and education on hold, if need be, to commit to a family. As a result a significant number of our sisters, despite their beauty, talent, maturity, and dynamism are passed over for marriage in favor of an idealized, demure “real” Muslim woman. […] Our Prophet was surrounded by strong, assertive and independent women” (Imam Zaid Shakir). The Prophet Mohammed’s first wife Khadeeja was an entrepreneur whom he loved dearly and had a very happy marriage with. Such examples should be inspirations for Muslims: “Its strange that Some Muslim men believe that one should not marry a working woman because they think she will not respect her husband if she is working. But Khadeeja (May Allah be please with her) was working woman and yet she was very respectful wife and an awesome companion of our Prophet” (Imam Asif Hirani).
  • Lack of female scholarship in Islam – it’s a sad reality that when a woman needs to seek advice regarding prayer and “female issues” that she has to talk to a man who does not understand. It would be very hard for him to understand as he is not a woman himself! That is by no means designed to be disrespectful but the result for women is conflicting, confusing advice – not to mention the fact that perhaps some women may not want to address such personal issues with an (unrelated, unknown) male. The Prophet’s wife Aisha was a scholar and there are and have been female lecturers, authors, writers, activists, and religious and spiritual leaders but on the whole this area is sadly lacking in comparison to males.
  • Views of women’s sexuality – Muslim wives have the right to sexual pleasure just as husbands do. However, literature and talk of sex and women’s sexual rights is often lacking. If you ask any scholar they will tell you that a Muslim wife has sexual rights and it is her husband’s duty to fulfill these rights within a loving consensual sexual partnership. Such rights/teachings include foreplay, affection and mutual orgasm. Read more about the issue here as part of the #TakeBackIslam campaign.

So having looked at the issues – Islam is often misunderstood and misrepresented as “misogynistic” and “sexist” through people’s misinformation/lack of information, the unfortunate behaviour of some individuals, the attitudes of certain societies, the media and Islamophobes. This is in direct contrast to Islam itself, which is an egalitarian faith. 

The oneness of God, the oneness of humanity

Allah created all human beings equal. In Islam you are only differentiated by your faith. Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) said: “Women are the twin halves of men” (Al-Tirmidhi). Islam – as a spiritual connection and devotion to God – does not teach or promote in its spiritual essence misogyny, sexism or inequality. As Muslims, we do not need traditional “Westernised” feminist orientalist discourse and secular “Muslim feminists” preaching about “veiling”, polygamy, etc. dominating and dictating to Muslims what is and what isn’t acceptable. We need a voice from within – from within the Muslim community itself to tackle these issues of cultural baggage, delinquency, intolerance, extremism, misinformation and misogyny. Islam is not for men; it’s for all of mankind – regardless of one’s gender, nationality, ethnicity, economic status, level of education etc. It’s for those who believe that God is just, God is merciful, God is The One – the sole complete Creator of the Universe. 

So, make a stance and fight the gender jihad:


  • If you’re non-Muslim, I hope you’ve found this article interesting. Feel free to comment and ask questions.
  • If you’re Muslim – brothers and sisters: make sure that are proper prayer facilities, educational facilities and social activities in your community for women and girls. There should also be access to social services for women in desperate financial situations and for those who find themselves in abusive relationships. Make sure the mosque is a safe haven for them and a place to learn. Brothers – they are your sisters in Islam


Photo credits:

Cover image – Steve Bidmead (pixabay.com)

FreeImages.com/Yi Nam Jahe

FreeImages.com/Jonathan Kendrick

Bayu Aditya (Flick) (CC BY-ND 2.0)

Christine Olson (Flickr) (CC BY-ND 2.0)

Pixabay.com (bernal 1)